We all loved you when you were completely Clueless. The girls of our generation, not-so-secretly, wanted to be you....or Cher....because to us you were Cher. You were the perfect 90s girl we all wished we could at least know once in our lives......sigh.....
You named your sweet baby boy Bear Blue, and I began to worry a bit about your sanity. Had all those years of no animal products done something to you? Were you losing it a bit? Because, honey, "Bear Blue" is cute for a tiny baby in his footy jammies, but a pimply 13 year old? You might as well have stopped by the tattoo parlor on your way home from the.....wait...you had him at home? ...ummmm.....you might as well have called the tattoo guy in and had "Kick my A**" scrawled across his forehead. It would have saved everyone a little time.
Then this morning I turned on the news and you were on there. Honey? Ummmm......you were chewing up food and letting your little Bear Blue eat it right out of your mouth. Kinda like a bird, except I don't know if they have saliva and you do. It is, in a word, revolting. (Don't believe me? You can watch it here. It really is disgusting.) As if the kids name weren't bad enough, you have the poor guy eating his mom's spit and .....it looks like he's kinda Frenching you there, to be honest... And if that weren't humiliating enough, you made a movie of it. And posted it on the internet. On.the.internet. Where things never go away. Ever.
Can you just picture it? In about 12 years? Jr High is brutal enough without a whacked out name and eating your mom's puke, because that's how the kids are going to see it. (I took an informal poll of my own children. That's how they see it. The looks on their faces should have you worried.) It should. It's a cruel, cruel world out there, and maybe you shouldn't be trying so hard to get him beat up.
I'm just a little worried about you. You seem like a nice girl. You even named your diet the Kind Diet (although "Kind" is a kind of pot, the good kind, and that might explain a lot.) Which is why I'm puzzled not by the fact that you've lost touch with what the rest of the world considers to be normal, but that you think it's so not a big deal that you're posting it for everyone to see. I think you're suffering from lack of protein. I've read your book and you're heavy on the wacky macrobiotic I'm-not-sure-that's-really-food and a little light on the real food. May I make a simple suggestion? A steak now and then wouldn't kill you. I promise that it won't.
Come on over and I'll throw one on the grill for you. We can watch Clueless and revisit the days when your life made sense, before you were upchucking for your baby.
Color me confused,
Rebecca
12 comments:
Wow. I really loved her in "Blast from the Past" (with a hunky Brendan Fraser). So sad when famous people do these things to their children. You just gotta hope that she decides homeschooling is the best option and he has a really good sense of humor about those antics of hers.
Haha Yes! I saw a thing about it a few days ago on Foxnews.com and actually clicked over to her website and read a little bit. The video is super gross. But there's also a video where she welcomes you to the website and she seems downright clueless in that. I LOVE Clueless, and I'll try to always think of her that way.
I tried going vegan once, and the results were not happy. Ms. Clueless seems like a cross between a cow and a bird with her chewing and eating behaviors. I agree, I think a steak will do her good.
As a pregnant lady who just barely started feeling well in the 3rd trimester, I can't bring myself to watch the video. It'll make me hurl for SURE! Ugh! What is wrong with people?
I have 2 words: HELL NO!
Seriously, there is something wrong with these women!
This is me, horrified AND laughing at the same time. Thanks for the post... too bad "clueless" was a prophetic reference...
Chewing baby's food is a common practice in other countries. I do it my self sometimes. It's very natural to want to do so, especially breastfed babies who are protected from mother's germs.
Anyway, if you think about it, how gross and embarrassing is it to think you once sucked on your mom's boob? It's all in how you look at it.
I do find it weird, but I think differently, I guess. I think more people need to stop worrying about what is 'normal' or what other people will think, and do what they feel is right for them. At one time, in the US, homeschooling, having babies at home, etc were looked at in this same way. Breastfeeding still is in many instances. But if we feel one of those things is right for our kid, we do them. I guess the difference is that we don't make movies about it and post it online, so in that regard I do agree with your point. But the fact that she's doing it and proud of what she feels is best... that's kind of inspiring to me.
Just my incredibly humble, not yet a mother, 2 cents :).
hahahahaha, hilarious, this is what I love you for!! Sure, your religious reflections are good and your family life posts are touching but this funny stuff just gets me going.
I'm trying to be serious now and consider her parenting behaviors from a non-judgmental place....nope, it isn't working. The nasty part is where the poor baby attacks her mouth (her own words). This is just not good manners. We are not in a culture that accepts this in any way, she would be kicked out of a restaurant for this type of feeding (probably even a vegan one that caters to pot heads). Oh, and it can NOT be likened to breastfeeding in ANY way. Sorry, I am very natural minded and even co-sleep and nurse my kid past the point where they are asking for it by name but I just can not get behind pre-chewing food for a toddler. The bottom line: can she REALLY not afford a blender? -Loretta
This is hysterical!!
Love it :)
I love Loretta! Hilarious!
Common place my big fat booty!
I hope no one ever tells her that what birds actually do more often is eat the food completely and feed the feces to the chirplings (it goes rather quickly for them for some reason)
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